Funky Biscuit // Sharpen Your Knives, Serve The Song
We caught up with Funky Biscuit for a quick-fire trip through their musical influences, favourite venues, questionable opinions and everything in between. From The Wombats and Westside Cowboy to Charles Mingus, Spider-Man and the importance of sharpening your knives, this one covers a lot of ground.
So, who are we?
BandWe are Funky Biscuit, and we're mint!
What's currently on repeat?
BandThe Wombats and Westside Cowboy are both getting plenty of play at the moment.
What's the best venue you've ever played?
BandLittle Buildings in Newcastle.
What made it so memorable?
BandThe crowd. There's something about a great crowd that can completely change the feeling of a show.
Who's your hero?
BandThe answers were varied. Spider-Man made an appearance, while Charles Mingus was another strong contender. Davy, meanwhile, apparently doesn't have a hero.
Do you have any pets?
BandWe've got Fizz.
If someone made a film about your life tomorrow, what's the opening scene?
BandThe answers ranged from being born, to waking up, going to work, and even going in to do a musical. A surprisingly cinematic collection of opening scenes.
What's one small decision that completely changed the direction of your life?
BandGetting into a band together was one obvious answer. Choosing to listen to The Rolling Stones was another, with one member crediting them with making them want to play drums. Studying Languages at university also made the list.
If people discover your music 100 years from now, what do you hope they learn about you?
BandThat we were good, funky, and we like biscuits, custard creams to be specific.
When people stop talking about your music, what do you hope they still remember about you as people?
BandThat we're funny.
BandAnd, perhaps more importantly, that we threw the best parties.
The Quickfire Round
Vinyl or streaming?
BandCDs.
BandMore specifically: ripping CDs and burning CDs.
Early set or closing set?
BandClosing set.
Favourite takeaway?
BandIndian.
What's the last song you listened to?
Band“St. Elmo” by Geese.
BandAnd yes, it's a great song.
One artist everyone should know about?
BandCharlie Parker and Charles Mingus both get a shout.
BandAlthough there was a strong argument that Charles Mingus is the best.
Most overrated thing in music?
BandPiano.
A song you wish you'd written?
BandThe answers included “4D Country” by Geese, “Kickstones” by Westside Cowboy, and “Gary” by Blossoms.
BandAnd yes, it is definitely 4D Country, not 3D Country.
THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS: what's the best £20 you've ever spent?
BandThere was a surprising lack of £20 purchases to choose from. CDs were suggested, although spending exactly £20 on them seemed ambitious.
BandThe eventual winner? A trip to the cinema to see the new Spider-Man film.
What's the worst advice you've ever been given?
Band“You've got to play quieter.”
BandAlthough there was also a very specific piece of driving advice involving a single-track road, letting everyone else past, getting stuck, being shouted at and eventually having to reverse back out.
What's the last thing you Googled?
BandTeesside CD. MOT checker. St. Elmo chords.
BandA fairly accurate snapshot of the band's collective brain.
What hill would you die on?
BandThe answer was essentially: we don't like hills.
BandEven if there was a lift involved. The view at the bottom is apparently good enough.
ONE LAST THING: what's one thing your fans would never guess about you?
BandThe immediate response was: “Didn't know I had any fans.”
BandAfter some debate, the general consensus seemed to be that the band's fans are mostly friends — although they eventually admitted there are plenty of people who don't know them personally. Probably around 20 fans, according to one estimate.
What's one question nobody ever asks you that you wish they would?
Band“How did you become so cool?”
BandAnother, considerably more wholesome response, was that they'd like people to ask them for directions more often — provided they actually knew where they were going — because it would be nice to feel helpful.
What's something you'd like to say to someone who's about to give up on music?
BandDon't give up on music. Or perhaps, give up on music — but do it differently.
BandMusic doesn't necessarily have to be full-time. Try a different band, pick up a different instrument, mix things up or find musicians who are as good as you. And, if all else fails, escape while you still can.
What's one piece of advice you'll always stand by?
BandServe the song.
BandWrite and play your part to serve the song rather than simply showing off what you can do. Play what fits.
BandThere was also another important piece of wisdom: “If you take care of your knives, the knives will take care of you.” Not everyone agreed. But the final verdict was simple: sharpen your knives, people. Trust your gut.
Finish this sentence: if there's one thing I want people to remember about me, it's…
BandMy sense of humour.
BandMy hairy armpits.
BandI used to have nice long hair.
Funky Biscuit are exactly what it says on the wrapper: funny, funky and completely allergic to taking themselves too seriously. Underneath the custard creams, the Spider-Man tickets and the knife-sharpening philosophy there's a proper band ethos — serve the song, play what fits, and keep going even if you have to do it differently. And honestly, we couldn't think of a better way to finish.
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